Beautifully Broken Read online

  She swallows hard and nods.

  I scramble to my feet and rush to the kitchen. We’re out of water bottles, so I grab a glass from the cabinet, fill it with water from the fridge, and am back at her side a minute later.

  “Thanks,” she says, her voice hoarse.

  “Are you alright?”

  Piper nods again. I'm unconvinced, but if she’s not ready to share then I won’t push her. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that you can’t force someone to open up. They’ll let you in when they’re ready. Seeing as she’s not ready yet, I stand.

  Piper grabs my wrist. “Rex, will you stay with me?”

  7

  Piper

  Early morning light peeks through the window, blinding me. I squeeze my eyes shut eager to keep the sun’s rays at bay and enjoy the darkness a little longer. I turn onto my side, angling myself away from the brightness.

  How is it morning already?

  Better yet, how long was I asleep? My alarm didn’t go off, which is odd because I almost always set it. I groan, too tired to get up and search for my phone to see what happened.

  Something shifts behind me. The cushion dips sliding me into a warm body. It’s then I realize an arm is draped over my side, resting on my chest. My breath catches in my throat. I open my eyes and immediately recognize the brown leather cushions I’ve wedged myself in.

  Holy crap. I fell asleep at Rex’s house, in his arms for Lord knows how long. When did we cuddle? A shiver of fear runs through me. I look down. My shirt and skirt are still on. I let out a breath of relief, but that relief is short lived. Rex is in his boxers. Only his boxers. My skin crawls, panic bubbling inside me.

  Did I let Rex touch me?

  Did I touch him?

  Why can’t I remember?

  My heart races, violent thuds beating in my ears. My questions and worries about the unknown trigger phantom hands around my neck. My nightmare comes rushing back—every painstaking moment I usually try to avoid that vividly plays out in my dreams is now in my conscious mind. I sit up and try to catch my breath, but my airway closes, making each inhale painful and scarce. This is terrible, beyond terrible. If there is a single word for a terrible-painful-traumatizing-and-immobilizing sensation, I need to learn it because that’s how this feels.

  Rex stirs beside me. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

  “I. Can’t. Breath.” I manage to squeak out.

  Rex jumps up and scoops me into his arms. Holding me tight against his chest, he runs through this room to the next and another after that, making his way across the house. I shake uncontrollably and try to wiggle free because the last thing I want is to be touched, but he pulls me closer. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to find a rhythm. Try to slow my heart rate and regain control of my body with slow, deep breaths.

  Rex kicks open a door. Rings of a curtain scream as they slide across the road. Water breaks free, crashing on the ground. The sound bounces off the walls, echoing in what must be a smaller room. I force my eyes open. Slate blue tile. Silver fixtures. We’re in a bathroom.

  Without waiting for the water to warm up, Rex carries me in. I gasp, the cold spray jolting air into my lungs. Shivering, I push my arms against his chest and wiggle free. He lets my legs drop, allowing me to stand, but stays by my side. Almost instantly my heart begins to slow. My breathing steadies, and I can think again.

  Why did I not set my alarms?

  I take a step back and look down at my toes. The water warms and swirls at our feet, dancing against the tile before slipping down the drain. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I thought I’d be okay, but your couch was so comfy and I just...” I sigh. I don’t want to ramble but feel as if I should explain, only I don’t know how. Not without telling him everything.

  Rex takes my chin between his thumb and forefinger, lifting my gaze from his feet to his face. An electric tingle spreads through me, burning me up from the inside out. I don’t understand how he makes me feel this way. It’s exhilarating and terrifying because when each touch ends, I crave the next.

  He gives a lopsided grin and shrugs. “It’s cool. I needed a shower anyway.”

  “Did we…” I can’t bring myself to finish my sentence. The thought’s sickening. Not because Rex is unattractive. He’s one of the most handsome men I’ve ever met, but because I always thought the moment I got over my insecurities and chose to do anything with a man would be special, not a black hole in my mind.

  “Oh! God no!” The relief I thought I’d feel is masked with disappointment. I suck in a breath, grateful nothing happened last night but the way Rex yelled no hurts. I must have made a face because his eyes widen. “Crap! No. Not like that. I mean, I’d love to fuck you. I mean...ugh.” Rex rubs at the back of his neck. “Shit.”

  Tears of embarrassment, confusion, and disappointment dance on my lashes. Before I can turn away Rex reaches up and cradles my cheeks in his hands. “I’m fucking this up, Piper. I’m sorry. You make me nervous.”

  I nod, a single drop of liquid disquiet breaking free. Rex pushes it away with his thumb and crouches down to be at eye level. “You fell asleep around one last night and woke up later screaming. I came downstairs to check on you. When you were calm again you asked me to stay. I laid beside you and ran my fingers through your hair until you fell asleep. I guess I did too and for that I’m sorry. But believe me, Piper, when I say that as much as I would love to make you mine in every way possible, I will never do anything until you ask me to.”

  “Thanks.” I take a step back, freeing myself from his touch and leaving the warm shower’s spray. Out of everything I’m feeling right now, embarrassment is the reigning emotion. I made a fool out of myself last night, needing Rex to soothe me back to sleep. Then I woke up in a panic forcing him to save me yet again. On top of all this, I accused him of taking advantage of me. Can I just melt and be washed down the drain, please?

  “Are you okay to get out or do you want to stay in the shower?”

  I’m at war with myself, craving Rex’s touch yet wanting to push him away. I’ve set the tone that I’m an unstable mess, the perfect excuse to keep our distance, but for some reason all I want to do is redeem myself. I could use a few minutes to figure out my next move. “Would this shower be alone?”

  Rex chuckles. “Of course.”

  I step out of the bathroom wrapped in a cloud I never want to take off, but I need clothes. As amazing as the towel feels against my skin, I don’t want to be naked all day. Walking into the hallway, I’m lost. The house is a maze of rooms, most of which connect to each other, and I wasn’t paying attention to our path when Rex carried me in.

  “Rex?”

  “Hey, Piper,” he says rounding the corner, hands in the pockets of his grey boardshorts. A plain white tee hugs his chest and arms, highlighting each muscle. I don’t usually pay attention to how a guy dresses, but damn he looks good. “Feeling better?”

  “Yes.” Words. Stop thinking about how amazing Rex looks and find your words! “Um…do you know where my bag is?”

  “What bag?”

  No. No. No! Please tell me I brought my bag. I couldn’t have forgotten it last night, wouldn’t have. “It’s a grey Nirvana shoulder bag. It’s literally my life.”

  “You didn’t have a bag last night.”

  Shoot. That means I left it in Cooper’s car. My bag. My extra clothes. My phone. I have nothing but a drenched school skirt and work shirt. “Perfect.”

  Rex’s eyes shine brightly at me, a hint of danger playing in his smile. “I’m guessing you don’t want to hang out in a towel all day?”

  I look down at my feet, my cheeks burning hotter than the sun. “Not really.”

  “Want to go to the beach? You can be naked there,” he says with a grin the size of Texas. “I’ll even join you.”

  Oh, God. Rex is thinking about me naked. He can’t see me naked! I’m not presentable. Wait… why am I worried about how I look? He will never see me naked.

  I
bet he looks amazing naked, pure muscle and hard all over.

  My skin heats again. We need to talk about something else. Anything other than Rex thinking about me naked because now I’m thinking about him. My gaze drifts to his package, a large bulge clear as day shows through those thin shorts. Scarily it doesn’t look hard, just big.

  “Like what you see?”

  I look up, mortified, but ignore the question because I’m not ready to go there… yet. “What about the mess outside?”

  Rex shrugs, a cocky grin glued to his face. “The maid will clean it. She comes every Saturday and Wednesday.”

  Of course Rex has a maid. He doesn’t strike me as the clean up after himself type. He leans in, invading my personal space. My breath’s ragged and harsh from being this close. What is he doing? My heart hammers heavily in my chest with fear and anticipation. Is he gonna kiss me? Do I want Rex to kiss me? That’s a stupid question. Of course I want him to kiss me, but twice now I’ve been let down. What makes this time any different?

  Rex whispers into my hair, “You smell nice.” He steps around me and up the stairs. “I know of a nude beach a few hours from here. Just saying.”

  I roll my eyes, pretending not to be disappointed, and follow him. “You’re so funny, I forgot to laugh.”

  Even though I work minutes from the beach, I can’t remember the last time I went to it. Monica might have brought me as a kid, but I doubt it. And with a pool in the Harris backyard, there was no reason to go. If there were clothes involved, a beach day might be nice. “Mirrors break when they see me naked. Trust me, no one wants to see this.”

  “I do,” he mumbles.

  I pretend not to hear because if I acknowledge that comment there’s no going back. I’m not ready to cross that bridge yet. Dance on it a little, sure. But not cross it. “You know we could just throw my clothes in the dryer.”

  Rex leads me through even more rooms and then motions for me to follow him up the stairs. “But where’s the fun in that?”

  I chew on my lip. Rex is such a tease. I’m sure he’s doing this on purpose. I need to work harder at not falling for his charm. It’s probably been perfected over the years to suck girls in with little to no effort. That won’t be me. I refuse to end up in the tabloids as the latest chick whose heart was crushed by this philanderer.

  He stops at the top of the stairs and looks down at me. “You coming?”

  It’s now or never.

  I skip up the steps two at a time. Rex waits for me, then twists a brass handle, pushing a set of white doors open. I step inside, completely in awe, looking around. The room is vast, nearly the size of the kitchen downstairs. Bright morning light shines through open windows, painting the white carpet a pale yellow. Rex crosses in front of a king sized four poster bed and heads for the closet. My fingers trail across the silk comforter, making ripples along its pristine surface.

  “Alright,” he says pulling two more doors open. “I think you and my mom are about the same size. Her bathing suits are there and sundresses are here. Pick whatever. We are going to the beach… clothing optional of course.”

  I cross my arms and lean against one of the tall posts of the bed. “You’re not worried about me stealing something?”

  Rex steps out of the closet, stopping inches away, the warmth of his breath tickling my cheek. He smells of coffee and mint and I’m reminded that I haven’t eaten yet today. My stomach rumbles.

  He glances down at my hungry tummy and smirks. One hand curls around the wood over my head, the other settles on the footboard beside me. “Should I be worried?”

  There’s no doubt in his question. He knows the answer but asks anyway, simply for curiosity’s sake. We both know I’m not what people make me out to be. Not a whore and certainly not a thief.

  Walk away, Piper, before someone gets hurt.

  Recognizing what I should do doesn’t stop the heat claiming my body. I tilt my head towards the jewelry on display on the vanity to my left. “That watch over there would get me a pretty penny if I pawned it.”

  Rex’s hand moves from above me and settles on my hip. My breath hitches. I don’t know what to do with myself. Before Piper would have seized the moment and kissed Rex. After Piper would shove him in the chest and run away. But this Piper, this new evolving version of me, is torn between the two.

  Rex leans into my hair, his chest flush against mine, and whispers, “You wouldn’t dare.”

  Rex’s lips kiss my cheeks with a whisper of a touch. Chills run down my spine to my toes. I lean a fraction of an inch closer as he backs away and our eyes lock. My pulse is everywhere again. He’s close enough, I could easily reach up and pull his lips to mine. I want his lips on mine. But am I ready for what could happen next? My heart skips another beat. This is too many feelings too soon. I need a scapegoat. I poke him in the ribs. “You don’t know me.”

  Rex clears his throat and steps into his mother’s closet. He runs his hand across a wall of dresses making a wave of fabric behind him. “You’re so much more than what everyone thinks you are, Piper.” He turns, walks past me, then closes me in his mother’s room. Alone.

  I don’t dwell on his words. I can’t. Rex doesn’t know the first thing about me. We aren’t friends. Barely acquaintances. The instant we’re back at school and surrounded by everyone I’ll be forgotten because hanging out with me is the equivalent of committing social suicide.

  But I’ll bask in the limelight for a day. Live my own Cinderella story until the magic runs out. And yes, I know who the princesses are, I’d be a poor excuse for a girl if I didn’t know at least one. I just like seeing Rex flustered. It’s cute when his cheeks flush.

  I step into the closet and look around. There are hundreds of thousands of dollars’ worth of clothes and shoes inside. Dresses from stores I probably wouldn’t be allowed to enter. The clerks would take one look at my tattered school uniform and faded black hair and decide I was there to steal something. I wouldn’t be, but they’d still judge me, nonetheless.

  I take a moment and walk to the back of the closet. Long ball gowns with sequins and feathers and decadent lace fight for space. A black one with a silver overlay catches my eye. I take it off the rack and walk ten steps to a full length mirror. I hold the dress in front of me, imagining what it would be like to wear such a thing of beauty. To have my hair washed and styled by a professional. The thought saddens me.

  I’ll never own a dress like this.

  Girls like me don’t get to go to the ball.

  Not in real life.

  8

  Piper

  Rolling waves with bright green and blue flurries rush to shore, tumbling upon themselves to kiss paper white sand. The crashing sound as water meets land is magnificent. Calming. Countless nights this could have soothed my nerves, lulling me into a semi lucid sense of peace. I should have come here ages ago.

  I lie on a rented lounge chair, one arm under my head the other over my eyes. My breakdown this morning runs through my mind on a loop. I’m ashamed and embarrassed. I never should’ve fallen asleep. I knew better, but those damn couches got me. “I feel like I owe you an explanation.”

  “For what?” Rex reclines in the bright blue and white lounge chair beside me, lost in the vortex that is the TickTock app. He rented our chairs from the Horizon Hotel as well as matching beach towels and an umbrella. Show up with nothing. Leave with nothing. The ultimate stress free beach experience. But renting beach gear at sixty dollars an hour is a luxury only the wealthy can afford, and I’m far from wealthy.

  I shift onto my side, using my hand as a shade while I squint. Rex is even more beautiful up close than he is from afar. I couldn’t appreciate his body this morning, but from a foot away, I have no shame in fan-girling. His arms are bigger than I realized. Tan and veiny and muscular. Absolutely mesmerizing. His chest defined, without an ounce of hair on his perfect body except for the small trail leading from his belly button down beneath the band of grey board shorts that hang low on his
hips. Tempting everyone’s eyes to follow it down to his package.

  Mine do. Again.

  “For this morning. My freak out.”

  Rex lets his phone fall to his lap and looks at me through his dark Oakley glasses. “It’s no big deal. I’m just glad I could help. I did help...didn’t I?”

  “You did. Thank you.” I pause, carefully choosing my next words. Rex doesn’t need to know everything. The truth will scare him away, but he deserves to know something. “I get nightmares sometimes. This morning was an exceptionally bad one. I don’t know why, but it was. I just...I just wanted you to know I’m not always that messed up.”

  Rex lifts his sunglasses so I can see the blue of his irises. He squints in the sun but tries his best to look me in the eyes. “I know. Cooper warned me about them last night before he left.”

  Ughh...Cooper knows? Could this day get any worse?

  “Do you want to talk about them?

  “Not really.”

  Rex sits up and kicks his legs over the side of the chair. He leans his forearms onto his thighs and looks out at the ocean for a moment then looks back at me. “We skipped breakfast. Are you hungry?”

  I’m starving.

  “I could eat.” I reach for my phone to check the time, then remember it’s still in Cooper’s car. I hate not having my bag with me. I feel naked without it. “What time is it?”

  Rex chuckles. It’s low and hearty, sending my pulse racing a mile a minute. “Why? You got a hot date?”

  “Maybe.” I smirk. “Are you jealous?”

  “Definitely.” Rex pushes himself out of the chair and extends a hand for me.

  I hesitate. He hasn’t touched me since we left the house this morning. What if the switch flipped in my brain and he can’t touch me anymore? Fearful, I take it, letting him pull me to my feet. To both my shock and relief, I’m fine. If anything, I’m a little excited. Three times now Rex has touched me, and each time I’ve been okay. Maybe things are finally starting to turn around.